


You're Not Alone

by fullmetalscully



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Royai - Freeform, hurt riza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 10:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: "She's been shot."Those were the only words he said. Nothing more, nothing less.And with those three words Roy felt his world end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was an idea myself and lexi (royais on ao3) went back and forth with for a few days on discord and it ended up this full fledged fic which i am really proud of actually  
> thank you for the encouragement and putting up with my yelling about parental!royai  
> check out her version of our idea at royais!  
> enjoy!

Roy placed his black coat on the hook by the door while he let his front door close quietly behind him. Letting out a muted sigh he braced himself for the onslaught that would be coming his way in approximately fifteen minutes. Without pause he headed straight for his bathroom and showered. If only it was so easy to wash away the stress of the day.

He had been justified in his reasoning. He was sure he had been.

But of course Hawkeye didn’t see it that way.

He banged the edge of his fist on the button to stop the water flow. He sighed once more, watching the water trail down the drain. Droplets dripped from his hair partially obscuring his vision. He needed to get it cut. With the last hectic few weeks at the office it had completely slipped his mind.

He heard his front door bang, signalling the end of the calm. That what those fifteen minutes had been. The calm before the storm.

He was justified. He _was_.

As calmly as he could Roy dresses in his casual wear. In his adult life, especially since joining the military, he had opted for expensive suits whenever he was off duty. If he was going to be stuck in standard issue military uniform all day then he would sure as hell make an effort to dress up when he didn’t need to.

However tonight wasn’t the time for dressing up. He threw on a t-shirt and a pair of workout trousers. There was no reason to don a suit to have this talk.

He noticed Riza standing with his back to him, palms on the kitchen counter. Her shoulders were tense, slightly raised towards her ears. Her posture was stiff. One leg was bent and crossed behind the other, hooking at her ankle. Anyone looking at her in passing would simply see someone who was lost in thought.

However Riza Hawkeye didn’t lose herself in her thoughts. She didn’t have time for that. And Roy knew her better than anyone else. He could see the anger and tension in her body. Every so often her nail would tap against the countertop, the sound like a gunshot in the deathly still apartment. Her right leg was crossed over her left because of a gunshot wound she had sustained three months ago. It had healed now but she still favoured her left leg. It had been a habit she hadn’t broken yet. Every time she had limped towards him it had felt like a stab wound in his gut. It had been barely noticeable after about a month but Roy couldn’t not see it. It was another reminder of his failures.

The crime scene techs had said she was lucky. If she hadn’t moved when she had the bullet would have hit in her the stomach.

Roy knew she had heard him enter the room. She didn’t miss much. But he surmised she was probably too angry to even think about facing him right now.

“Riza,” he greeted casually as he walked over to the fridge. He plucked a bottle of water from the fridge door. Inside his emotions were like a storm, each fighting for dominance. He tried his best to remain impassive but they both knew it was a fool’s errand.

There was a quiet sigh from her as he moved over to his couch.

That sigh spoke volumes. It told Roy he better brace himself for the verbal tongue lashing that was coming his way. It told him that she was tired of this fight. It told him that despite everything she understood but was willing to fight her case regardless because that was her job.

“Sir,” she greeted back. Her tone too was casual. But the edge was unmissable. Over the past few months she had never called him by his honorific address while they were at his place. It had always been Roy. It made his eye twitch in annoyance. She was playing him and she knew it. Riza Hawkeye knew exactly how to get under his skin and she did it well.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit Lieutenant?” Fine. Two could play at this game. It was childish, yes. But she hadn’t listened to his reasoning at the office. Perhaps she would now.

“I don’t know _Sir_.” He didn’t miss the stress on the last word. “Why don’t you tell me?”

His anger built once more within him, bubbling below the surface. But he wouldn’t let it out. That would solve nothing and would only drive this wedge further between them.

Luckily, in this house, they could be _them_. There was no need to hide their true feelings like they did at the office. Like they had to.

“Don’t play games Riza,” he all but growled. “Don’t hold back. There is no one to overhear us now.”

“This is bullshit.” Her statement shocked him for a moment. Stunned into silence in the only way she could. “You _know_ it is. Sir.”

Despite telling himself he wouldn’t get angry, his face twists. “It is too dangerous for you to go out there in your current physical state. _You_ know that.” He repeated the sentiment back to her, oddly satisfied by the way her fingers twitch by her side.

“I am physically fit, Sir. I have been cleared for active duty by a military doctor. So tell me _why_ I can’t go into the field and do my job?” He opened his mouth but is cut off. “If you tell me it is too dangerous I will fucking punch you. Stop trying to shield me from these imaginary threats.”

“I watched you almost die!” he exclaimed, letting his anger burst forth. By the time the words are out he was breathing heavily. Good. It is her turn to look shocked. “I watched you bleed out in front of me,” he growled. “I watched my life go with down that drain with your blood. So _excuse the fuck out of me_ if I do not want you to go out into the field until you are one hundred percent.”

“That was two years ago, Sir,” she replied, but the bite has gone from her words. She is frowning, still unhappy, but she has calmed down. Now he needs to as well.

“And it is a constant reminder of how I wasn’t good enough to watch your back.”

He had wanted to say those words all along. They had talked about it after the Promised Day but, as Riza had said, that had been over two years ago. A lot had changed since then, but a lot hadn’t. There were still people out to get him because of his high status in the military. Being a General just meant the stakes were higher now. But he would grin and bear it because he had a job to do. At this point it had been his dream for so long that he _had_ to see it through. Of course, Riza was by his side every step of the way. It was the only thing pushing him through.

Defeated, he sat on the couch and buried his head in his hands. He couldn’t lose her again. Not like that. But this job was too lowly for the likes of him. It was something a lieutenant colonel could take care of easily with a small task force. Hawkeye would manage it no bother because that was her way. She could get any job done and Roy constantly admired her for it.

“I can’t lose you again.”

There was another sigh but all the anger had left her.

“You didn’t lose me,” she murmured, placing a hand on his head. He leaned into her touch, his head coming to rest on the side of her leg as she stood before him. Another hand made its way to his head and he closed his eyes. He always yearned for her touch. They had done their fair bit of sneaking around these past four months. He didn’t know what it was but when they were in his house he couldn’t keep his hands off of her. He wasn’t sure if it was some need to make up for lost time or if it was simply a comfort he so sorely needed after all those years of furtive glances and brief touches.

“But I could have.”

“You _didn’t_. I am not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered into the fabric of her skirt. “It was a moment of weakness.”

The hands begin to move in his hair, stroking his head. He is not too proud to admit that he loves when she does that. It is nice to know she has been listening.

“I understand. But it is still my job. I can’t abandon that because my superior officer is too afraid of “something happening”. If word got out I would be discharged.”

His hands fist in her skirt. He knows this, of course. He was being selfish and it had been a moment of panic earlier in the office today.

Her services had been requested to organise a task force to investigate a string of robberies in Central. The group specialised in going in to a job guns blazing, often leaving nothing behind except destruction. The brass hoped Riza would be able to shed some light on the subject since the MPs came up with nothing. Her speciality was gunfire so they hoped she would be able to see something they couldn’t.

Fuery would be working the comms and Havoc would be assisting her with the case. The MPs would be pulled in for the manpower since it wasn’t classed as a high profile case. There was more than enough support. Hell, Riza could have gone in by herself and cleaned it up in less than an hour.

“There was never a doubt about your abilities.” He looked up at her from his seat, moving his hands to grasp hers. He smiled softly. “I guess these past few months have taken their toll.” His gaze drops to her skirt once more and misses the way her eyes widen a fraction. However when he looks back up, her face was sympathetic.

“I know.” He takes a deep breath, letting lose a shuddering sigh. “I won’t fight it anymore. I was just…” His eyes wander across the room looking for the reason but too scared to admit it. “I was scared.” He swallowed. “I still have nightmares about seeing you lying bloody on the floor. It has haunted me these last two years.”

Riza settles next to him on the couch. She brings his head to her shoulder, one hand splaying over the back of it while the other wraps around his neck.

“I know,” she murmurs and honestly it is so comforting to hold her like this.

“Its even harder when you aren't sleeping by my side.”

He feels her cheek move against his as she smiles. He is loath to miss one of her rare smiles – something that has been coming to her more often when they are alone – but he doesn’t want to move. He is lost in the scent of her shampoo and the warmth she provides.

“Is this a hint?” she asked dryly.

He chuckles, the noise sounding from deep in his chest. “It can be anything you want it to be.”


	2. Chapter 2

Riza reigned in her frustration. This case was a dead end so far. There had been no evidence left at the jewellery store. No signs the thieves had been here at all, aside from the obvious lack of jewellery and missing funds from the register. She wasn’t sure why the brass requested her on this. There was literally no evidence to be picked up. But still, orders were orders and she would do the job to the best of her ability. Or, at least until the crew hit another store. Hopefully then they would get luckier than this one.

Of course, it didn’t help the site was a day old by now.

“What are you thinking Hawkeye?” Havoc asks her, lighting the cigarette in his mouth. He puffed once, then twice, before blowing smoke into the afternoon air.

She subconsciously took a step away from him, waving the smoke out of her face. Normally it never bothered her but her stomach clenched as she thought about why she needed to avoid second hand smoke now.

“I am thinking…” She trailed off while she spied something glint in the sunlight on the ground. It could be nothing. It could be everything.

God her head hurt. The feeling had been plaguing her since the team set out this morning.

“Fuery?” she asked, grimacing as the bright sun shone in her eyes, sending a shooting pain into her skull. The second lieutenant answered over the comm in an instant. “Can you run some checks on the piece of tech we found?” There had been a rope and a grappling hook left by the back door. It would be dusted for prints but having the serial numbers would mean Fuery would be able to track it back to the manufacturer and – hopefully – who bought it.

She hoped the criminals weren’t _that_ good because she was too tired to deal with this drawing out for longer than necessary. She smiled to herself at the thought of going home to Roy’s tonight. He would be stuck in meetings all day so she would have barely seen him if she had been in the office. A need that was growing exponentially day after day.

Damn hormones.

She stooped, grimacing at the way her leg twinged in pain. It appeared to have spread to her knee joint too and while it wasn’t a cause for concern, it still irritated her.

The next thing she knew there was pain exploding in her shoulder and her face hit the cold, hard concrete. 

* * *

Roy’s patience was wearing thin. He was _so close_ to having his Ishval project finished. However the Ishvalan Leaders he was currently meeting with were busy discussing something in their native tongue. Roy and Breda were obviously not to be permitted to join the conversation, but they could both tell it was important from their urgent tones.

And Roy had spent more than enough time in Ishval these last two years to pick out the odd word here and there.

Something was said along the lines of “can we trust them?” and “their fault in the first place”. Roy’s jaw clenched.

They had been working together closely for two years now. Roy had spearheaded the campaign to rebuild the decimated country. It had been tough. Incredibly tough. There had been protests from every angle but he had fought through it all. He _and_ his team. They had made it.

And truth be told the Ishvalans were well within their rights to be sceptical. Amestris hadn’t exactly been very accommodating to them even after the war. Racism had been widespread. And while Roy always court martialled any soldier who was caught speaking ill of the Ishvalan people, it didn’t stop it. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to, but if it stopped even a few he would do it. It was the least he could do until he could actually make a difference and rebuild the country he had helped steal from them.

But their distrust at this stage in the process still stung. Still, he was determined. Not even the world ending would stop him from closing this deal and handing these people back the country he felt he owed them.

A loud _bang_ sounded through the room and Roy had his ignition gloves on in an instant. Breda’s gun was out and aimed at the door before both men realised it was Fuery was standing in the doorway panting heavily.

Why did he look like he had been crying?

“She’s been shot.”

Those were the only words he said. Nothing more, nothing less.

And with those three words Roy felt his world end.

Because Fuery wouldn’t come bursting into such an important meeting like this unless something truly terrible had happened. And there was only one female he could be referring to.

Breda’s gun dropped and hung loose at his side. His mouth opened and closed trying to get it to work. The Ishvalan leaders looked irritated at the interruption.

Roy however was frozen both in mind, body, and spirit. His eyes stared at Fuery, _willing_ him to take back those words. _Begging_ him to tell him it _wasn’t true_.

Without his brain telling them Roy’s legs carried him out of the room with Fuery hot on his heels. The Ishvalan leaders protested from the meeting room but Roy didn’t care. Not now. Not when the woman he loved had been _fucking shot_.

Just like he had feared last night.

Breda very quickly and concisely explained that the meeting had been adjourned until the foreseeable future in their native Ishvalan tongue. The man had been in charge of logistics and had taken it upon himself to learn the language as best he could.

Now that his brain was working again it took its time to identify the feelings rushing through him. But pure terror took prevalence over them all. It flowed through him like a river and through his stomach threatening to make him vomit. Riza had been _shot_. His stomach tightened at the thought and it left him breathless.

This couldn’t be happening.

“How did this happen Fuery?” he barked. His jaw set and face turned hard.

He knew. He _fucking knew_ this would be a bad idea. Riza Hawkeye didn’t just get shot. She was too good at that. That had been two cases in the last six months of her being shot. Images of her bleeding out on the floor before him flashed in his mind. He grit his teeth and walked faster.

“I don’t know,” he stammered. The young lieutenant had wiped his tears away by now. “Havoc is on the way to the hospital with her. I just heard it over the comms. There was a gunshot then all hell broke loose. The MPs were tasked with the search for the shooter and I have already sent out soldiers to the scene. To keep it under wraps.”

“Good. Get a perimeter set up and inform me of the progress. I want to see the scene myself.”

His tone and his expression left no argument, not that Fuery would have anyway. Plus, giving the soldier something to do in this crisis would calm him down. It always did.

“Yes, Sir!” He ran ahead to Roy’s office, where he had been monitoring both Hawkeye’s and Havoc’s transmissions.

“Breda.” The soldier was by his side already. “Get us a car,” he barked.

“Yes, Sir.”

Within five minutes Breda was speeding towards the hospital. They arrived after the ambulance. As Roy ordered someone to tell him what the _hell_ was going on a nurse came up to him. His anger turned towards her because she was in the way of him being with Hawkeye.

“General Mustang,” she stated sharply. With a start, he realised he recognised her face. She had been part of the team that had treated him after the Promised Day. “The doctors are working on her as we speak but I need you to calm down. Abuse towards staff is not tolerated.”

That comment stopped him short. Of course. He needed to keep his head. Riza needed General Mustang now. Not Roy.

His mouth opened to apologise but the woman smiled softly. “Riza always told me that would work.”

A sharp pain manifested itself in his heart and despite his best effort to keep it hidden, the nurse smiled sympathetically. “I understand what you are going through but I need you to be patient. The doctor will be out soon.”

Roy nodded, afraid that if he spoke his voice would fail him. He took up the mantle of sitting guard by the door while awaiting any news. Breda was still parking the car and wouldn’t be in for a few more minutes. He had the hallway to himself.

He hadn’t seen Havoc yet but worry coiled within his stomach about the man. Was he okay? Had he been shot? He cursed his single mindedness when it came to her. Whenever Riza was hurt all thought of anyone else went out the window.

What kind of commanding officer was he if he played favourites like that?

Of course, the men knew there was a deep connection with him and Riza. They weren’t bothered by it. Actually, they encouraged it.

He let the full weight of Fuery’s news fall on him.

Riza had been shot. She was lying somewhere beyond the double doors to his left bleeding out. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

He should have been there. He should have offered Breda too to watch her back.

But Breda was needed with him. Shame shot through his stomach at the thought of just leaving that meeting. It had been too important but he hadn’t even thought twice about it.

Just when he thought he was going to bite his thumb off with worry Havoc made an appearance. He looked stricken upon seeing Roy but forced himself to relax. Roy watched his stiff movements as he sat across from his superior.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m all right,” he replied cautiously. This cautiousness… Did he think Roy was _angry_ at him? Havoc met his eyes briefly to reply then looked away again. He swallowed before speaking again, his voice faltering. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even know where it came from.”

It hurt Roy to know that Havoc thought he was mad at him. Surely they knew each other better than that. The guilt was clear as day on his face but that hesitance still lingered in his words.

“This is not your fault, Lieutenant,” Roy told him, voice hard.

Havoc chuckled humourlessly. “Well, it isn’t yours ethier.”

Both men regarded each other silently and Roy looked away. Damn. They did know each other too well.

“What was the situation when you left?” Roy stared at his hands as he asked that question. His voice appeared absent while his mind and through a number of possibilities of who might have done this.

“One shooter. One casualty.” Roy winced. “I ordered a perimeter to be set up on the scene. I sent a few MPs up to the roof where the shot was fired but I could already see the person running. I would have went after them but…” Havoc’s eyes moved to the double doors to his right. “I couldn’t leave her.” His voice was thick with emotion as he admitted that. He huffs and blinks furiously.

“Thank you, Havoc.”

He nodded, still blinking.

It was another three hours until the doctor updated the team on the situation. Fuery was still in his office but Breda kept him updated. Roy felt bad keeping him there but he needed to be here for Riza, and he needed to see the scene. However he had phoned Fuery ten minutes ago and explained he should come down to the hospital once all was done. Breda had told him Armstrong was willing to take over for the time being. The man was, and always had been, a saint to Roy. He would need to thank him once all this was over.

The double doors burst open and the doctor looked mildly surprised to see four men all looking at him expectantly, both dread and uncertainty gracing each of their features.

“Miss Hawkeye is out of surgery.” Roy held his breath. Not wanting to hear anything negative but unable to breathe until he heard a positive. “She is healing well but she hasn’t woken up yet.”

Roy’s mind couldn’t decide if that was good news or not.

What did that _mean_?

“However the baby is going to be fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

The baby.

The baby.

 _The baby_.

Roy didn’t know how he got onto the chair he had been rooted to for the past three hours but Fuery was sitting beside him now. Worried eyes watched over him.

“Baby?” Havoc whispered, unlit cigarette dropping from his mouth and onto the floor.

“Hawkeye is…” Breda trailed off.

“The _what_?” Roy chokes.

Fuery said nothing. He simply watched them all as if worried they would keel over any second.

“I'm assuming by your reaction you had no idea,” the doctor states. Roy’s wants to tell him _no shit Sherlock_ but the words don’t come. In fact, nothing comes to him. One word is dominating his mind and it is “baby”.

Riza is pregnant.

“Miss Hawkeye attended her twelve week scan last week.”

Twelve weeks.

He tried to run a time frame through his mind but the organ wouldn’t work the way he wanted it to. It was stuck like a broken record, focussing on one fact and one fact alone.

Riza is pregnant.

And now she was lying unconscious in a hospital bed possibly dying from a gunshot wound.

Roy pales and Fuery can see the future before Roy knows it is coming. A waste bin is placed under his head and he vomits his lunch into it.

_Riza is pregnant and Riza was shot._

Something akin to panic sets in his bones.

He needs to see her.

He needs to _talk_ to her.

He needs her to tell him she is going to be all right because that is what she _does_. Riza Hawkeye doesn’t get shot. Riza Hawkeye doesn’t get pregnant.

His thoughts are stagnant in his mind. Briefly he wonders who the father is but it is fleeting, unable to stick longer than a second. A pain tears through his chest though at the thought. They had been doing so well these past four months. Was she seeing someone else?

The doctor gauges the reaction of the four men and continues, but his voice is subdued. “We are not going to waken her up.” He states slowly, each word careful. Before the doctor can continue Fuery interrupts him.

“Why?” His voice is sharp and so unlike the young man they were all used to. He was normally so soft spoken and eager to please that he never upset the status quo and spoke out. But the kid loved Riza like a sister. Roy was glad Fuery could voice what he couldn’t.

“It will take the strain off her body and allow it to heal. By keeping her under we are ensuring the continued safety of the foetus as well.”

 _Foetus_.

 _How_ was she pregnant? Roy felt bad for thinking it… But was the baby his? His brain had begun to stutter, slowly coming back to life and allowing him to think. Working back to when he and Riza had begun to see each other…

 _Holy shit_.

Going by that time frame and the twelve week scan…

This could be his kid.

The vomit threatens to overwhelm him again. His stomach refuses to settle.

His child could be lying in its dying mother _right now_ on the other side of those doors.

There was no way they would let him see her. Not now. Not in such a dire state. She was in intensive care he vaguely heard the doctor said when he almost passed out from the revelation she was pregnant. No visitors.

He couldn’t even go and visit her and his child.

 _That is… If it is really yours_.

That pain that had shot a bolt through his chest earlier returns with a vengeance. So much so that he gasps aloud. His mind was a cruel thing, but it always had been. Especially after Ishval and other life and death situations he had experienced.

“Sir?” Fuery asks quietly. His eyes dart from his superior officer to the other two soldiers across the hall.

The doctor was gone when Roy looked up. For all he knew he had been sitting there for hours. Havoc looked like he was going to vomit with worry as he stared at nothing. Breda paced along the hallway with a hand by his mouth, deep in thought.

“Yes Fuery?”

His eyes soften and he looked slightly guilty. “It is yours,” he whispers.

At first Roy wasn’t sure he heard him. He just blinks back at the Second Lieutenant.

“What?” he asks stupidly.

“The baby. It is yours, Sir.”

Havoc and Breda turn to face their younger comrade but say nothing. In fact they don’t look surprised at all. It was if this was expected. But under better circumstances.

“How…?”

“She told me.” Eyes cast downwards Roy _knows_ he feels guilty about keeping it from him. “She ordered me not to tell a soul.”

Roy wasn’t sure how Fuery came to be aware of this fact, but inside he is slightly relieved.

She isn’t ashamed of the fact anyway.

And… he has a child.

For Roy the only other person in his life had been Riza. It always had been. He was fairly certain with the situation reversed, she felt the same way. However he had always had some niggle of doubt in his mind when it came to Riza Hawkeye. How could someone as beautiful and good love him? How could someone so perfect want to be with him? They both had their demons for sure so he had begun to believe that was the only reason they had remained together. Two broken soldiers taking comfort in each other because no one else would want a monster as a partner. It took a monster to recognise another.

And now he had a child with her.

But someone had tried to take them and Riza away from him. That was unforgivable.

“How long until she wakes up?” Roy asked. His voice was hoarse. He would have been surprised but he felt numb.

“They don’t know.” Havoc’s voice broke and he cleared his throat. “They don’t want to add any extra stress onto the ba…” Even Havoc had a hard time wrapping his head around the word. At least Roy wasn’t alone.

“Did we catch the shooter?” he asks Fuery.

“Not yet,” he shook his head. “Major Armstrong is working on it as we speak.”

“Good.” Roy stood from his chair, joints protesting after sitting on the hard plastic for so long.

“Sir?” Fuery asks, brow creased in confusion.

His gaze is hard as he walks. He clenches his jaw and shoves his hands into his pockets. He feels his ignition gloves there and oh, how he is desperate to use them on the person who hurt his Lieutenant Colonel.

“Fuery, you are welcome to stay here but I would like your assistance on the lines as we try to catch this bastard,” Roy states as he continues to walk. “Havoc and Breda take all the time you need. But I am going to catch the man who did this to Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye.” He pauses at the end of the hallway, turning to face his team. “Are you in?”

Three men salute back at him, their loyalty and devotion unquestionable. He let loose an inaudible breath. He would always remember their support. It had helped in more situations than he could count.

“Good. Havoc, you stay here and wait for an update. If anything changes, call Fuery.”

“Sir,” he salutes, his posture relaxing.

“You will rotate round in two hours. I don’t want her to be alone if she wakes up.”

Havoc nods, determination replacing the shock on his face.

“Breda I want you on that rooftop. See if you can find any evidence.”

“Sir.”

“Fuery, search any and all radio channels. If they speak out I want to know about it.”

“Already done, Sir. I have one of Major Armstrong’s men monitoring it as we speak.”

“Excellent. Let’s move.”

Walking away from that hallway was one of the hardest things Roy has ever done. He didn’t want to leave Riza and his child. Especially when she was suddenly pregnant. A crushing feeling of hurt pressed down on his chest for an entirely other reason but he pushed that aside. _Why didn’t she tell me?_ He would deal with that other fact another time, when the shooter was caught. Until then he would focus all of his attention on this case. They wouldn’t get away with this. They don’t get to walk free while Riza lies possibly dying in a hospital bed.

And he wouldn’t be able to face Riza until he had caught them.

For her, and for his unborn child.


	4. Chapter 4

“ _Bastard_ ,” Roy spat. His jaw clenched and gaze hardened as he watched the interview taking place through the two way mirror. He watched as the man stared smugly back at the mirror, as if the criminal knew Roy was right there.

“I agree,” Havoc stated. “You want me to take this?” He rolled the cigarette to the other side of his mouth.

“No.” As if there was any question. But Roy could appreciate Havoc asking. He knew how hot headed Roy could become when it came to things that concerned Riza. But no, he would face the man who had done this. He would take pleasure in taking control of this interrogation.

It took everything in Roy’s power not to lunge over the table and punch the smug bastard in the face as he turned to look at his new visitor.

“Ah, Mr. Mustang,” he greeted. His tone oozed over confidence. “What a pleasure.”

Roy snorted. He sat on the chair across from him, crossing his legs in an effort to appear as casual as can be. Inside he was a raging hurricane of anger. One wrong jab from this man and he could be across the table in a flash and choking the life out of him. He wouldn’t use the gloves. He wanted to watch the man suffer just like he had. Just like Riza had.

Did that make him a monster? Well, he already was one.

“State your name for the record, please.”

“Roger Allan.”

“Mr. Allan were you present at the Third Street jewellery store, M. Gold and Sons, on the afternoon of the twelfth of August?”

“Yes.”

Roy felt his finger twitch at how proudly he stated it. Luckily his hands were hidden under the table.

“What was your purpose there?”

“Target practice.”

Roy’s eyes shot up to the Allan. He grinned back at Roy the look in his eyes slightly manic.

“Is there any particular reason you were shooting a military officer for “target practice”?” Roy states disdainfully.

Allan shrugs. “The plan worked.”

“Oh?” Roy asked, arching an eyebrow. “And what was this plan?” The hurricane was picking up inside him. This bastard’s blasé attitude did nothing to help matters.

Allan grinned wickedly. “The plan to draw the Lieutenant Colonel out and give back all the pain and suffering she gave me over the last eight years.” His voice was giddy, the manic look becoming more and more crazed as time passed.

Roy remembered Allan now. He wondered why his face looked so familiar. Roy had arrested him years ago when he was still al Lieutenant Colonel himself. Hawkeye had shot him in both legs to stop him from running. That’s why he still limped when he walked.

“Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Allan,” Roy manages to grind out. “I hope your revenge was worth it when you are rotting in a prison cell for attacking a military officer.”

“Oh, believe me, _it was_ ,” he grins. His wolfish eyes follow Roy out of the room and Allan barks a laugh. “Especially when I get to see you so worked up like this. She must be pretty important –”

Roy slams the door closed before he can hear another word from his mouth.

“Get him to prison,” Roy orders.

“Yes, Sir,” the MP in charge of the interrogation rooms salutes. Havoc strolls out of the room and tosses the tape recording of their conversation to the man without a word. His only utterance is a thank you and a lazy salute as the two make their way out of the building.

“There is more than enough in that confession to convict him.”

“Hm,” Havoc hums in agreement. “Where to now, boss?”

“The hospital.” Roy heaves a sigh. He finally feels some of the weight of Hawkeye’s shooting shift off of him. Not a lot, but enough so that it feels like he can visit her face to face. He and the team had caught the bastard who had done it.

Roy kept his anger on a _very_ tight leash as he thought about how the man he had just spoken to had almost ripped everything he had ever loved away from him. He tried not to dwell on it. There was a more important conversation he needed to have now. 

* * *

Now that Allan had been caught Roy had spent the past three days in Riza’s hospital room. He refused to move. When the nurses berated him for it he eventually stopped listening all together. When Armstrong had tried to remove him physically Roy threatened to set him on fire. The man was sent under orders, of course, but knew when to back down from a losing battle. Smart man.

On the third day, Riza woke up.

It was slow. Roy wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. The heart rate monitor next to her bed had changed rhythm as she awoke. Roy had been dozing in an armchair when he first noticed it. But she didn’t open her eyes right away. Riza had been under a lot of medication so it was normal the doctors and nurses had assured him that she would take a little longer to become fully awake.

At first Roy hadn’t been able to bring himself to look at the second heart rate monitor. He felt as though he didn’t deserve to. He had let the child down as he had Riza, and they weren’t even born yet.

The nurses only connected it to Riza’s stomach every so often. It was just to check that her little one was doing all right. But when he heard his child’s heartbeat for the first time he couldn’t look away. He even requested the machine be left in the room and hooked up to Riza’s stomach, but the nurse gently explained she couldn’t. They didn’t have a lot of them and it was needed elsewhere in the hospital.

When her eyes opened Roy heaved a sigh of relief. He grasped her hand tightly, giving it a quick squeeze. He had done so frequently over the last few days but _now_ it mattered. He wanted her to know he was there.

Her eyes wandered across the ceiling. It took her a few moments to focus but when she did her hand twitched in his, as if finally realising it was there. Her gaze lazily made its way over to him and she offered a weak smile as he greeted her.

Her hands instantly flew to her stomach and she sighed in relief. Then, as if realising what she had done, her hand snapped away, eyes widening. But she knew Roy had already caught her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. His voice was hoarse and not from lack of use.

Her head snapped towards him before she groaned in pain as the action hurt her shoulder. She clenched her teeth but offered no further noise. Her eyes closed and she lay her head back on the pillow.

“Riza?” he tried again. He needed to _know_. That question had been eating at him for the last three days. He had a child. He should be happy. And he was. But that was not the way he had wanted to find out.

Not only that, the day he had found out it could have been snatched away from him and he would have never known. Hell, three months ago when she sustained a gunshot wound to the leg the techs had told her was lucky it hadn’t hit her stomach. It could have ended then and he would have been none the wiser.

A quiet sob left Riza and Roy’s thoughts ceased. He pressed a hand to the top of her head, thumb stroking her forehead. Her own hand rose to her mouth, stifling the noise.

“I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Do what?” he asked incredulously.

“You have worked so hard for this dream of reaching the top.” She hiccups another sob. “And this will ruin everything.”

He’s angry. He can’t help it. _That_ is what she is thinking about right now. His fucking dream he had told her passionately about in a graveyard in her hometown? He straightens in his chair.

“For God’s sake Riza,” he replied, exasperated. “There are more important things in life that that!”

“Not to me.”

“This is a fucking child we are talking about!” he exclaims. “A human life! Not a worthless piece of junk with sentimental value!”

He needs to reign in his anger but he can’t. He _really_ needs to. He never gets angry with her. Not truly. There was that time she had given up living because she thought he had died. But he had been angrier at the situation and himself more than anything. He hadn’t been there to watch her back. He had passed out after Lust left and lost precious minutes. If he had been faster he could have stopped Lust quicker.

Her hand lowers from her mouth. Her eyes move back to the ceiling. He is watching her shut herself off from him. And while he is angry, watching those walls go up stifles it somewhat. He doesn’t want her to close off from him.

“I didn’t tell you because this could ruin your career. I am the one who is pregnant,” she states. Her tone is blank and professional. All emotion gone. His anger simmers and pain shoots through her chest. “I will bear this.”

“It is not a burden, Riza,” he states.

Her burning eyes meet his. “ _I_ will do this. But I will do it alone.” He opened his mouth to protest but she shoots him down. “We can’t be together and you know it.”

“Well it hasn’t stopped you these last four months,” he growls. “How long have you know,” he demanded.

“For a month.” Roy pales. “I didn’t tell you because I know how close you are to reaching the top. You are the only one who can make a change in this country,” she fires back. “ _You_. Not me, not Grumman. You promised me you would and I would help you get there. To atone somewhat for our sins. You are there now. You don’t need me by your side anymore.”

“Don’t _ever_ say that.” His tone is quiet but dangerous. “You can’t stop me from seeing my child. We both made that choice.”

“I can handle this on my own,” she bites back.

“This is a _child_ , Riza,” he growled. “ _Our_ child. Stop acting like I don’t have any say in this. I will not live in a world where my child is unable to acknowledge their father because of some outdated, backwards law.”

She opened her mouth but Riza had no retort.

He _hates_ this. They shouldn’t have to live in secret. They have been together for so long and he is fucking tired of it. He will not be able to dismiss his child and not acknowledge its existence. It is bad enough that he has to hide his relationship with their mother. He will not subject his child to that.

“I will fight you tooth and nail on this, Riza,” he warns coldly. “Don’t think I won’t. I should be ecstatic you are carrying my child but I am hurt because you saw fit to keep it from me.”

“To _protect_ you. That is _my job_ , Sir.”

“Bullshit. It was to protect yourself.”

“Enlighten me.”

“You don’t think you deserve to have a child.” Her mouth flops open. He knew that was the case and she just confirmed it. In truth he had the same fears himself but this was happening now and there was no way to stop it. They would just have to deal with it like they always did.

Together.

His voice softens as he sees the tears form in her eyes. His anger is gone and he is tired. Tired of hiding and tired of being unable to live a life with the woman he has loved for the majority of his life.

“I won’t abandon you to do this alone a second time.”

“A second time?”

He swallows his shame. “I left you after your father died. You needed me and I left you in that town by yourself to chase a dream. A dream that brought me nothing but pain and sorrow.” His eyes met hers, knowing the tired look in hers mirrored the one in his. “A dream that left me loving you but unable to do so.”

“I don’t want to stop that,” she admits quietly. “You are so close and I would never be able to forgive myself if my pregnancy did. People talk and I know what they say already. When they notice I am pregnant you know who all the fingers are going to point to.”

“Then I will speak to Grumman. I will state our case. He had mentioned changing the laws before. There was no reason he couldn’t do it now.”

“He could dismiss you there and then,” she warns him fearfully.

His eyes meet hers, his resolve clear. There is no doubt in his mind that the words he is about to say are one hundred percent the truth.

“I don’t want to be Fuhrer if I can’t be with you, Riza. I don’t want to be Fuhrer if I can’t be with or even _acknowledge_ my child.” His eyes drop to their hands that, despite all the heated words exchanged, are still entwined. Like both their souls. He hears her gasp quietly at his admittance. “Yes, that was my dream. I wanted to make the world a better place for the next generation. However.” His eyes flash up, determination coursing through him. “Priorities change and yours should too. Especially now. Stop putting your life and happiness second because of me.”

“I don’t –” Riza begins automatically, but is cut off as Roy raises one eyebrow doubtfully.

“You two are just as important to me as that dream. And I pick you and our child.” She inhales sharply, eyes widening. “I have always picked you, Riza.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed it! let me know what you think!! :D


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